My most vivid memory of my father during my childhood was how much he enjoyed us, experiencing life through our eyes, and finding ways to wow us. He would let us drive sitting on his lap down our private dirt road in Maryland, or let us tie and climb up ropes from the banister because we were playing pirates. He would join us in all of the sports we did, but would never be the hovering parent. He would let us experience whatever we would have experienced being there alone, and if we needed help, we would ask, and he would help. He also spent much of our childhoods filming hours of home movies of us. The trick with dad was that we never knew he was there, so we did our playing, or talking to ourselves or our friends just like we would normally. He caught some of the best home movies you could imagine because he was capturing exactly what a childhood is like… not just what kids do for the camera. My dad has always told us that his greatest regret in life was letting us kids grow up.

Unlike most children, though, I didn’t get to live with my parents until I was ready to leave for college. I didn’t get to come home to meals and family every night, or argue about whether or not to do my homework… or even get grounded (I don’t think I’ve ever been grounded). I left home when I was 12 years old to start fencing in upstate New York – 8 hours from home in Washington, DC. So while I am very close to my family, we had to work hard to remain close. I think it was during those times of being away from home, be it just training in New York, or calling from around the country or overseas, that I saw my parents love and commitment to me. Day or night, at any hour, I was allowed to call home collect, and no matter if he was in the dead of sleep, my dad would ALWAYS answer, and would talk to me for as long as I needed to talk… even if we were just breathing on the other end.

While I know this doesn’t make much financial sense when calling collect to just be breathing on the other end, sometimes as a kid you just need to know that your family’s in it with you no matter what, and the money doesn’t matter. It can be such a lonely existence growing up pursuing something that seriously at such a young age, and it helps knowing your family are standing by you, understanding why you’re doing everything you’re doing. I remember spending countless nights in Bonn, Germany, in the basement of the boarding school where we always stayed during world cups, at the one payphone in the entire school, sitting on the steps in the dark, talking to my dad about nothing… which meant everything.

When I was in college at Penn State, on a fencing scholarship, I fell ill unexpectedly with Crohn’s Disease. I called home and told my dad I was going to the hospital. After we hung up, he packed some underwear, told my mom it was urgent, and drove to State College, PA… a 4 hour trip from home. By the time I was admitted to the hospital, my dad was walking in the door. He stayed with me for the entire week I was hospitalized and then some, sleeping in an armchair (he would have stayed forever if I didn’t tell him to go once I started going back to classes).

And now my family is here with me, for the first time in 18 years. I get asked a lot if my parents living across the street is fun or not… I can understand that question – a lot of people have parents they wouldn’t want to live near. They’ve spent a lifetime living near them. But for us, we’ve spent most of my life trying to be close when all we ever were was apart. It was an unusual life, but it was a sacrifice we were all willing to make for a common goal (travel, culture, college scholarship, etc.). So in short, no, it isn’t weird living so close. Yes, my father can be strange, with his deep love for statues and everything gaudy, how he raises pigeons in the backyard, how much he loves cigars, but never smokes them, just chews on the end. Yes, my family is quirky, and funny, and sometimes my dad is downright weird… but they are good and kind and love people unlike I’ve ever seen. And so the quirk becomes endearing, and the funny makes you laugh… the weird stays weird, but you love them anyway because of how much they’ve always loved you.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I’m so glad you’re here, and that I get to spend every day with you.

Jessie

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