UPDATE TO THE UPDATE:

Since I haven’t heard back from “C” or “Charlotte”, I can only assume it was a spammed email… and while I’ve been laughing at myself all day for responding so seriously to something that wasn’t even real, it did get me thinking about two things: blog posts and the way we say things.

I couldn’t agree more with “Charlotte” that my blog posts maybe aren’t as interesting as they used to be, and I’ve been feeling guilty about it for months.  What I wrote was true, though, that sometimes the criticisms make you feel that complacency or generic posts are maybe the safest route to take.  Interestingly, what has always inspired my previous “interesting” posts were issues that I felt needed a voice, or deserved sharing or giving a critic a different perspective.  So thank you, pretend critic, for getting me thinking about writing again.

The second thing this comment made me think about is the way we say things, or, more specifically, the phrasing, “Don’t take this the wrong way…”  Here’s a thought: Tell people the “right way” rather than putting the onus on them to not take it the “wrong way.”  People who have something to lose go to great efforts to say things the “right way” so that there is no misinterpretation of what they are trying to convey. Critics tend to come across as unkind because they have little to lose in being a critic, but in reflecting on this, I think the reality is that they aren’t so unkind as they are lazy.  It’s easy to say everything you’re thinking as you think it and not care about the person on the other end and how they might interpret it.  It’s hard to think through what you want to say, care about how it will be received, and then share it in the clearest way possible in order to get the outcome you originally intended.

So, “Charlotte,” maybe next time you could take a few more minutes to write your comment and say something like, “I really enjoy your writing style, and found posts x, y and z to be some of your best.  Any chance you could write more posts like these?”

I digress…

Jessie

UPDATE:

This comment may have been spam… but I can’t tell because she signed her initial.  I get lots of generic spam, but in case this is real, I responded.

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Today I received the following comment on our website, and wanted to post it on the main blog page along with my response.  I would like everyone to read through this and then please share your thoughts re: blog posts.

Jessie

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Comment:
Please don’t take this the wrong way. I think your overall ideas are fine but you might want to put a little more thought into your next posts. I say this becuase it seems like your writing style has gone downhill a bit as opposed to your previous posts. – C.

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Hi Charlotte,

Thanks for writing.  While it’s hard not to take what you said the wrong way (almost a guarantee when you write “don’t take this the wrong way”), I know my posts probably aren’t as interesting as they used to be, or maybe as well-written.  What’s funny, though, is that nobody ever tells me the things they like that I post, only the things they don’t like.  That’s something I’m discovering is hard when being in the public eye right now… I get lots of feedback on posting things that are too personal, or too controversial, or in this case, too uninteresting, and then I find myself in a loop of apologies for everything because I don’t want anyone to be disappointed in the product I’m putting out there.  I’m not the type that’s able to say, Here’s what I’ve got, take it or leave it – and then feel confident that I’ll still succeed in what I’m doing.  I’m very aware that what I’m doing relies on the public liking it, so with so much feedback of what not to do, it makes you want to just play it safe and do nothing at all (or at all that interesting).

While part of the issue is that I’m tired of being controversial, the other part is that it takes a lot of time to run this business, and sadly, posting to our blog has been put on back burner while I try and keep us afloat through the construction that has taken place over the last three months in front of our shop, as well as what is the slowest time of the year in the coffee industry (January/February).  However, if what you (and others) are saying is that you were more interested in Posies when you felt you had more of an inside track to what was happening behind the scenes or in my mind, so be it.  I love writing, and if I knew others felt more connected to us with my old ways, I’m happy to go back, or maybe to a blend of what’s been suggested to me.

I’d appreciate your thoughts, and if you don’t mind, will be posting this to our blog for public feedback.

PS: Oddly enough, I’ve responded to every post I’ve ever received asking for suggestions of how to do better, and not a single person has ever written back to me.  I hope you write back.

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Jessie Burke

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